Yep, this is me…

joepuentes —  July 19, 2013 — 8 Comments
My mom and me. Maybe 1979 or 1980.

My mom and me. Maybe 1979 or 1980.

Yep, this is me…

Yep, this is me… I complain about sensitive people, but really I am just as sensitive.
Yep, this is me… I hate having pictures taking of me, because I hate seeing how fat I am.
Yep, this is me… I really want to be healthy, but I can’t wait to have the new Twinkies (It’s a go: Operation Twinkie-gluttony with secret agent Elle).

Yep, this is me… I struggle being comfortable with who I really am with God, others, and myself.
Yep, this is me… I think I’m a really awkward/nerdy person, and don’t really know how to have one on one conversations.

Yep, this is me… I love laughing and having a good time, but I struggle with enjoying the moment.
Yep, this is me… I still am trying to figure out who I am, and I’m 40 years old.
Yep, this is me… I struggle with getting older, even though I told myself I never would.
Yep, this is me… I am pissed off that some people think being 40 and older makes you unmarketable and unemployable.

Yep, this is me… I call people out for being selfish, but I am the most selfish person I know.
Yep, this is me… I almost blew it with my wife many years ago, and have done this several times since.
Yep, this is me… I wish I could be a romantic person, but I think being romantic is weird.
Yep, this is me… I tell people that I don’t care what they think of me, and get really worried that I don’t care.

Yep, this is me… I can have a tendency to not let people into my trust circle.
Yep, this is me… I can also have the tendency to let the wrong people into my trust circle.
Yep, this is me… I can over promise and under deliver. Which makes me work even harder in the end, with the result of burnout.
Yep, this is me… I am a lazy person, but cover up my laziness with over working.

Yep, this is me… I struggle with the American church, but I’m afraid to voice my opinion too loud. I have too much to lose.
Yep, this is me… I struggle with consistently reading the Bible and praying.
Yep, this is me… I more often than not live in fear of man, instead of the fear of God.

Yep, this is me… I am worried about people reading this and using what I have posted here against me.

You know what though…
Despite all my failures, weaknesses, and insecurities; God will continue to use me.
God isn’t finished with me; he is only just beginning.

We all need to get over ourselves.

We’ll never be good enough, perfect enough, or having things exactly the way we want them to be. AND that is okay. God has extended grace to us through Jesus, so that we can live life to it’s fullest.

Life is too short to not enjoy it; so Enjoy it!

Joe
(Submitted to the Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of You)

8 responses to Yep, this is me…

  1. 

    Thanks for sharing Joe. I am glad to have a friend like you! I also love that God knew you would almost blow it with your wife…but He paired you with an amazing woman with great character that stands by your side and believes in you and your family even when you couldn’t!!! I am also thankful he put you and your family in my life when it was a mess and I needed a friend who could understand that and not judge!! Love you and yours!

    • 

      Hey Dana,

      Thanks for being my friend! I think you encouraged me more than I did you. There are people who come into our lives and they make such a huge impact that we are never the same (in a good way). And you are one of those people for me.

  2. 
    Jennifer Puentes July 19, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    I relate to ur entire blog… thx for posting. Helps me put my similar thoughts into perspective! ♥ U!

    • 

      Thanks Jenny! Sometimes after writing things down my perspective gets put into place as well. Love you too :)

  3. 

    This is so honest and brave. You’re definitely not alone in thinking and feeling this way, I can relate to most of these struggles. We’re only human and I think personal conflict is a sign of a desire to do better and can be a good thing if we really listen to our inner voices carefully and act on them wisely.

  4. 

    That was awesome Joe, thanks for putting yourself out there.

    • 

      Thanks Lola. I wrote this blog post to remind myself to be the authentic “me” everyday, and to remind myself to be better.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. {Weekly Writing Challenge} How to prepare a ‘serial traveler’: Recipe, cooking times and serving suggestions. | 3rdculturechildren - July 22, 2013

    […] Writing Challenge: A Pinch of You | Irregular Ventilator Yep, this is me… « joepuentesblog.COM “Mom, Where Did You Come From?” | Trees Without Roots a finch of me | Musings of a Random Mind […]

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