I can’t tell you how many times I stood at this spot (look at the picture to the left of the screen) or somewhere close to it, overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge leading into San Francisco. Growing up in the Bay Area, I came to take for granted the times we would go into “The City” to visit family, catch a Giants game, hang out at Fisherman’s Wharf, go to Pier 39 where I would hangout at the magic shop and play with all the gadgets and magic tricks for countless minutes (Yes, I said minutes not hours. I wasn’t allowed to be by myself for very long). What I realize now that I didn’t back then was to capture all the moments around me and appreciate my situation and surroundings. There was no intentionality within me during those moments I had in The City by the Bay. Maybe because I was only 1o years old or younger at the time, but nonetheless I was to busy complaining about being tired, complaining about my sister, about being hunger, and whatever else I could find – I was focused on me, myself, and I, not on the beauty and wonder around me.

Isn’t that how it is with us sometimes? We bumble through moments and fail to be intentional geographically, situationally, and relationally. You know what though, I think we as parents do this with our kids more than anything else. Recently, some friends of mine had their first baby, and this started me thinking about the time my oldest daughter was born. I had to reach way back into the memory banks to recall any moments during that time and was hard-pressed to recollect anything. Oh, I remember that I drove to the hospital in a gray 1970 two door Impala, which had a driver’s door that wouldn’t open.I remember it was raining and my wife telling me to slowdown, because the roads were wet. I also remember the “deer-in-the-headlights” look on the doctor’s face when she realized that this was really it (she was a very young and new doctor). I have some recollection of my daughter’s face when she was placed on my wife’s chest for the first time right after her delivery, my daughter had the look of doubt and uncertainty of whether she wanted to be there or not. And you know what, that’s it! From that moment on, I don’t have a lot of memories of those early time. It is also the same thing with my other two kids. Call me a bad dad  or whatever, but I bet it is the same with you. If not with your child(s) birth, it is with something else that pertains to them. We all do it, we all miss intentional moments with our kids. The thing we need to do is to savor the ones that we do catch, and to create new ones that have yet to be.

This year marks three different milestones for my family. We will for the first time have three teenagers in our house, our youngest turned thirteen years old this past January. Our son turns fifteen years old in may, which means he will be at the halfway point to thirty (plus he is going to shave his chin and upper lip for the first time). And our oldest daughter will turn eighteen years old in October. I got to be honest, I am a little behind in the intentional moments category when it comes to capturing those times with my kids. I was busy “making ends meet” and establishing myself in the world as an adult. My strategy now is to pay attention to those moments where I can have intentional moments and conversations with my three teenagers (Unfortunately, I am still trying to “make ends meet” and establish myself as an adult), even if they are small ones at that. I just want to capture with my kids and teach them to perk their ears to the sounds, flare their nostrils to the smells, and focus their eyes to the sights, and savor the moments that we do catch and create new moments that have yet to be…

So after sitting and contemplating these things and thinking about my friends who just had their first baby, I was compelled to send a text message to my friend telling him to capture every moment with his baby boy and wife. Even the mundane moments. I told him to capture them and be intentional in savoring those moments, because before you know it time passes and you end up bumbling it away and those moments become a blur. My memory of my kids when they were little and the moments in “The City” aren’t very clear, but one thing I do know are the intentional moments that I’m catching now and the intentional moments that I’m creating that have yet to be are not a blur.

I always learn life lessons from Bonanza. Lesson number 1: Don’t mess with the Cartwright’s! Seriously though, my kids get a kick out of watching this show. So much so we bought 32 episodes for $5.

Recently I read an article that Reggie Joiner wrote for CATALYST. I found the article motivating and challenging. Below is some food for thought from the article.

Did you know…

* how you communicate Deuteronomy 6 can either paralyze or mobilize your families?
* your partnership with un-churched parents will radically affect the influence of your church?
* you can start a revolution in teenagers when you network with other churches?
* the environments you create for children can shape their understanding of God’s story in their lives?
* the way you connect families to other families can exponentially influence a child?
* the way you don’t say something may determine whether it is really heard?
* how you minister to college students may be one of your most important investments?
* “speaking family” every week can impact the communities around your church?
* your definition of the church can determine if the next generation will walk away to be the church?

The full online article can be found at: http://www.catalystspace.com/content/read/reggie_joiner/

I got these stats from a guy named Nathaniel Dame – his blog is http://www.effectiveym.com/ … He has a good blog with some very helpful stuff for student ministry

- 88% of children raised in Christian families leave church at the age of 18, never to return (SBC).
– A majority of adults no longer consider Christianity America’s default faith (Barna).
- 64% of decisions for Christ are made before the age of 18, and 77% are made before the age of 21 (Barna).
– An estimated 4% of the “bridger” generation, or Gen Y, will be Bible-believing Christians when they reach adulthood. Their grandparents’ generation: 65%. Their parents’ generation: 35% (Bridger Generation by Thom S. Rainer).

I think this could be a direct affect of the church not focusing on equipping the family (Parents in particular) in helping them make their Christian faith a centerpiece of their family.

Family pic at Rocky Mountain National Park

Recently my family and I went on a family vacation to Estes Park, Colorado. Estes is an amazing and beautiful place. One of our favorite hangouts in Estes is Rocky Mountain National Park. We like it so much, that we bought a annual park pass (We’ve already have used it 4 times). As my wife, kids and myself went on a mini-hike to a lake called Fern Lake (We didn’t make it – it was to far and we weren’t prepared for that far of a hike), we realized that we hadn’t been on a family vacation in about 5 years. Probably like many people, life, work, and school dominates ourlives sometimes to the detriment of the well being of our family.

The questioned I asked myself while on this vacation was “where has the time gone!” My oldest daughter is a freshmen in high school, my son is getting taller than me (I know not to hard to do), and my youngest daughter is becoming a beautiful young lady. My kids have changed it seems in a blink of an eye and I sometimes don’t know what I’ve missed out on in our complex lives! The nature of my profession (middle school pastor) requires me to be a mentor, teacher, friend, spiritual guide, and sometimes father-figure to many preteens and teenagers. For the past twelve years, I have been all these things to hundreds of students and have made many memories with them, some sad, some frustrating, but all of them amazing and life-changing.  However, what memories have I made with my own kids?

Don’t get me wrong! I know I’m a good dad – I have great kids, I know they love me and I know they have a great foundation to begin building their very own “complex lives” with. And we have made many awesome and amazing memories together. It’s just that I now understand even more so now that time is prestigious and every moment counts!

Joe

The other day my wife over heard my 11 year old son say something hilarious. He said, “A pack of paper – $1.99, pack of straws – $.99, spit-wade – priceless!” Apparently he said this after he spit a spit-wade at his sisters – what to do, what to do…

Then to top it all off, my 9 year old asked her older sister (Who is 13) if she wanted her fries. She said, “Angelica, do you want my fries – they come with free ketchup!” She will be a very successful salesperson some day.

Kids – they sure keep a house full of laughter and life.

Joe