I’m not ragging on the person who posted it on twitter, because I have said it myself many times in the past and I know many others who have said the same thing. I have felt the same frustration as the person who posted the tweet. What I am questioning is the thought pattern that myself and others have about the extreme importance of youth group verses the discipline of parents (I must say that the person who posted the tweet was no way implicating this). What I mean is that I have felt many times that if the student only came to youth group more they wouldn’t be a problem at home or at school. I have thought that the program, the youth coaches, and myself are the ones who can disciple the student away from their moral degradation. What they need more of is Jesus and we are the ones to give it to them (Moralistic therapeutic deism). What the student really needs is to model Jesus to their parents or “honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 19:19…

Seriously, since when did youth group and youth ministry programing become the only mechanism that students get discipled? I know I am probably going to piss off many of my professional youth ministry colleagues with this post, but the reality is we and our programs are not the center of discipleship for our students; the parents are, and if they are not we need to figure out a way to get them there. Ultimately, the parents will be the ones involved in the students life for the long haul, not us. Shoot most of us can’t stay at a church beyond 2 years. Youth group isn’t everything… Youth ministry needs to be holistic.

SO what if a student is grounded from youth group! It’s not like they are going miss out on being at church, because they are the church. Hey look at it this way; when this happens, we add to the adolescent penchant for rebellion and this will make them want to come back from more…

Heck, I’ve even grounded my own teenagers from youth group, and I am the youth pastor.

Don’t let the people around you define your value. Remember, the Father created you, find your value in Him. Psalm 139:13-15

I was thinking today about some of the past struggles I have had. Depression can be paralyzing and it can suck the life out of you. One of the things that I struggle with is allowing people to define my worth or my value. I guess if I were to go back into the recesses of my childhood, I might find the root cause of this heavy burden. However, it wouldn’t solve much, no matter what the professionals say about coming to terms with your past hurts… All I know that there are moments when I let people around me define my value.

No matter what people say about you, you can count on God to value you and love you. The Father created you and knows exactly what your value is and He is treasuring every bit of you.

When it comes to myself, I’m done being a programer and an event planner. Its not that I don’t find value in these things, I am just done with them being the center of who I am as a youth pastor… When it comes to youth ministry, I‘m done and have been done with the entertainment aspect of youth ministry. “If this makes me a bad youth pastor, then I guess I am one…” In all sincerity, I have spent many years focusing on big events and big programming to attract large groups of students, and there is some value in it. However, when that type of value is all that I’m shooting for then I missed on what Jesus called me to do… To be honest, running big events and programing is a lot harder to do, and takes more resources in people, money, and building space. Oh and that leads me to another thing – big events and big programming might lead to discipleship, but it’s not discipleship. Attractional/Event driven youth ministry is not the “end all meets all” for youth ministry. I know this to be true! We have planted, overhauled, and maintained several youth ministries throughout the years. Many times, especially when it came to the overhauls, the issues revolved around the residual effects of an attractional/event driven youth ministry…

Keep it simple! Remember youth ministry at its core is about students knowing and growing in a relationship with Jesus, and simply loving and discipling students. Nothing else should supersede this core value. Discipleship is not an event or even a program, it is a lifestyle! Events and programs can help lead into discipleship, but they will never replace discipleship. Youth ministry should be for the students and the families, and not the youth pastor. We need to teach students to do ministry and not be spectators of ministry.

Here is what we have been doing: We have had students participate in the teaching team in our Sunday morning gatherings (hopefully one day it will be in the adult service), we told students that we would be glad to help them witness to their friends, by equipping them, but we will not share the gospel to their friends for them – the result is we have had over 7 students baptize their friends this year, and with more to come. Students have organized and lead prayer groups in their schools on a weekly basis, and a couple of them have turned into Bible studies, all of which were student initiated and student led. Our students have initiated and organized service projects with three different local agencies, they have planned community gatherings with their peers for the sake of gathering as a group (some houses have had 60 to 100 students at those gatherings), and there are the little things that happen on a day in and day out occurrence. Heck, even my own mentoring group met this week without me. I told them we couldn’t meet this week because I was going on vacation. They decided to meet and each took a turn in leading the mentoring group. Students lives are being changed. They are influencing their neighbors (I’ll blog on what I mean by “neighbor” in a future post.) in whatever context they are living out their faith.

Is this messy sometimes? Yes, it is. This is how the Christian life can be at times. Can somethings not go very well? Yes, they fail. You know what, it is okay for students to fail how else will they rely only on God and see His glory! Do the numbers not always look good for the Monday morning report? Well, it all depends on what your scorecard is… KEEP IT SIMPLE and you will see radical discipleship take place.

If I wanted to be an event planner, I would go do that…

Don’t get me wrong, I have friends and I do go out. Some would even say that I’m a high-end extrovert. Honestly, I really don’t want people to know me too deeply and I don’t really care to know them in-depth (this is strange coming from a youth pastor, I know). Isn’t this our culture nowadays though? No judging, no accountability, no deep relationships (only if it is on my terms…). We want to know everybody and to be known by everybody, but only on the surface-level, not too deep… (I do believe this culture is changing, especially with the youth of today… More on that in another post).

So when Jesus commands me to love my neighbor and he means to do this in a deep selfless and sacrificial; the way God has shown His love to us. I really don’t want too; seriously, I don’t! It’s really hard for me to be obedient. It’s hard to love people in that way Jesus asks us to, at least for me it is… Then I read scriptures like Colossians 1:21-22 and others like Romans 5:10; I realize that I need help. I need help to love God and love my neighbors. What’s so cool about this is that God gives us help! First, through His son Jesus; second, by the power of the Holy Spirit; third, through reminders in scripture, and finally through people that He brings into our lives. I am so convinced that one of the reasons God brought my wife into my life is so that I would learn to love my neighbor. If it wasn’t for her, I probably would be some recluse living in some mountain cabin or in some shack along a deserted beach. She has shown me who Jesus is and has demonstrated to me what a living example of how loving others is a way of life.

And that’s it! When we love our neighbors, it’s a way of life, a way of thinking, a way of being and doing. It’s not a program, an event, or the latest strategic ministry model or church growth model… It’s just who you become and who you are. It’s the whole 2 Corinthians 5:14-21 transformation process taking root. SO when I’m asked to love my neighbor, I will initially say, “Love Who? Can’t I just be a recluse in a mountain cabin…” Eventually, I will come to my senses and LOVE. I can’t say that I love God, but don’t love my neighbor (1 John 4:20).

Galatians 5:14

What if the scorecard wasn’t a scorecard in the sense of how we use them, but more of gage of measuring the level of influence a community of people have in being accountable to a mission, and a divine mission at that… Could you imagine not necessarily being worried about how many people showed up to our gatherings, but more a “who isn’t” because there was more concern for the individual rather than the filled room. What if the gathering wasn’t the focal point at all, but was instead a piece of the mission, and not THE mission!

I know these are lot of questions and trust me I have a lot more. I have more questions than I do answers. Here is what I’m getting at, and not just me alone. There is a whole host of people who are and have begun to explore what Reggie McNeal calls the “congregational church” or Frank Viola’s “institutional church” model or approach to Christianity. I’m not going to get into all the historicity behind their views. I feel it is not appropriate to cover this in this blog post. Viola’s book, “Pagan Christianity” is full of research on this subject. I merely want to ask questions and begin more of an inner discussion within myself and with you if you’d like. I want to be a part of discovering where God’s is taking His Church, and see how youth ministry and myself might fit into this new way or paradigm that God is desiring. Times are changing, culture is changing, people are changing, and the Church is changing, at least if she wants to be an influencer in the lives and eternal destination of the people around her.

I must state this here up from in this post that I am not a psychiatrist professional counselor, or clinical psychologist; I’ve had a total of three counseling classes in Bible College and 17 years of practice counseling youth, parents, and peers. What I do have that qualifies me to write about this is that I am depressed and in ministry.

The hidden-side of ministry and life is a lonely place to be. Although it shouldn’t be this way. Most of us who struggle with depression know all the right answers both from a biblical and humanistic standpoint. We’ve counseled many people through darkness and depression, but find it hard to put into practice for ourselves the tools, wisdom, and advice that we recommend to those we counsel – at least I do anyway.

I know this isn’t something I should be writing about openly, especially when it’s about me…I am a person who struggles with depression… I was one of those people who said it could never happen to me, but what I’m finding out is that it has happened to me several times, but I didn’t know that I was suffering from it. I can be what you call a high functioning depressed person. Most people who know me well, and there are very few who do (Some people think they know me, like coworkers, friends, and family), would say that I’m usually an upbeat person and pretty positive most times, except when it is the first thing in the morning. There are times that I struggle with worthlessness and a dim future because hope escapes me…

When I realized that my struggles were related to depression, I hid it from everyone, my wife, my kids, my supervisor, coworkers, students, and just about everyone else around me. I felt that I was not suppose to struggle with this! As a Christian and a pastor, I should be free from this burden. The Holy Spirit lives in me and should prevent this from happening; I am a member of the clergy and should be immune, because I serve God (A blog post about my thoughts on clergy will come someday).

I know these rationales weren’t true, I became embarrassed. Then it hit me I should know better, none are immune to sin, brokenness, Satan, burnout, and the things that this fallen world can bring about on a person! Wayne Cordeiro in his book Leading on Empty says, “Depression is no respecter of persons. The silent “terrorist” attacks those outside the church as well as those within.” In scripture there are many examples of God’s people who suffer from depression, Isaiah, Jeremiah, David, Job, Jesus, and others… None of them were rendered useless by God, but were used to further His kingdom, His plan of salvation, and to His glory.

When I was able to get away and find a safe place and a safe person to confide in, I was able to breakthrough the embarrassment and confess that I’m depressed, exhausted, and done… For me it was at a Christ In Youth retreat for youth ministers called “Wilderness” and with the help from my mentor for that week named Mike (Mike is a 40+ year veteran of youth ministry). I’ve learned to identify some of the symptoms that tend to happen to me when I’m fighting a bout of depression such as difficulty concentrating, decision making comes hard, irritability, feeling alone, and others (Wayne Cordeiro in his book “Leading on Empty” has a whole list of symptoms). I am also learning to be more open about it, talk with my wife, pray more earnestly during this time, and trust that there is always hope even in the dark times…

Some people will want to discount my depression, and say that its not real, because Christians don’t get depressed. Others will say since I struggle with it, I’m not fit to do ministry, and still some will tell me they understand, but treat me like a leper… To them I say “I don’t care what you think!” But to those who love me, encourage me, and surround me I say thank you! To those who are hurting – Romans 15:13…

I recently read a blog post by Kurt Johnston and Josh Griffin where they shared their values for their entire student ministry. This had me thinking about our own student ministry key values at LifeBridge. These four key values are woven throughout our ministry in every aspect – large group gatherings (we call VERB), discipleship groups (which we call FORM Groups & CORE Classes), service/mission (PUSH Projects), events, trips, and one-on-one interaction with students. Here they are listed below – I thought I would share them with you…

Safety: We must take every step necessary to make sure our students and volunteers are safe, because safety is key to having a healthy & vibrant ministry.

Care: We must show value to our volunteers, by encouraging and equipping them, so that they can be empowered to help our students on their spiritual journey.

Growth: We must provide a scope and sequence of biblical teaching for our students that is transferable, real, relevant, and gives our families a common ground and common language.

Fun: We must give our students every reason to celebrate and invite them to catch a glimpse of what heaven will look like through the eyes of making church fun. It is important for our students to walk into any environment that we have and feel the burdens of this world be lifted off their shoulders and replaced with the good things that Jesus has for them.

It is important for our volunteers, students, and families know why we exist, but what is more – know how we plan to make ministry tangible for them to experience for themselves and how they can actively engage others into the story of God.

Theology is imperative to youth ministry! Every opportunity with a student is a chance to teach theology… Realizing this more & more everyday.

Do you know what this plate of pasta shows to me? This plate of pasta shows me just how big the kingdom of God really is! I’m serious. This plate of pasta was made and provided by my new friends the Micah and Justine.

I met Micah and Justine yesterday at around 9:00 at night, when I drove into Joplin, MO and pulled into their driveway to stay the night at their house. In fact, I am living at their house for the next four days while myself and s small team from LifeBridge work with a church in their efforts to love their neighbors who have been affected by the F5 tornado that devastated this city.

Justine, the wife, is about 7 months pregnant and has a cute little one already, running around laughing at everything and everyone. She made the plate of pasta, along with amazing salad and some of the best brownies I’ve had!

What does all this have to do with the kingdom of God? Well, I have been humbled to see what impact the love of Christ and His kingdom has on people. When people open their homes to strangers, make them meals, and serve them as if they are family or more, the kingdom of God has been demonstrated and realized!

Pasta, friends, and the kingdom of God…